It never fails to amaze me how uptight some people are when it comes to sex.
Sex. It's what makes the world go 'round. You do it. You have had it. Chances are, it's how you got to be a MOM.
Now unless it involves rape, bestiality, kids, incest or anything of the sort WHY must it be something you should feel ashamed of?
I recently came across an event for married couples to "fix" the sexual impurities in your relationship. Ugh, it's a good thing my eyes can't roll back into my head because I was thoroughly annoyed by this "be ashamed" mentality.
You should never think about another man or woman!
Kink or taboo is deviant and you are sick for even thinking about it!
Fantasy is wrong!
Sex is the physical expression of love and only meant to be enjoyed between a man and a woman!
Good girls don't enjoy sex!
You're a MOM now, you should act like one! MOMs do not have sex!
Porn is the devil's work! It destroys marriages which are the purist form of love on this earth!
I had a lightbulb moment when I was tweeting my frustration about these stereotypes and boxed mentality.
Most "coaches" who teach this type of thinking are sexually repressed. If they weren't they wouldn't be so concerned with making you feel ashamed about "impure" thoughts or exploring your sexuality.
I get that some women are only comfortable in the missionary position with the lights off and the doors closed but that is unhealthy too.
Embrace your sexuality: Allowing yourself to be free of your inhibitions is empowering! If you're ashamed of your body, for every flaw you think you have, find two positive attributes about yourself and focus on them.
Enable yourself: You are an adult who is allowed to enjoy the physical pleasures of sex. Don't buy into the "Good girls aren't suppose to like dirty sex" mentality. Sex does not equal love and love does not equal sex.
Communicate your desires to your partner: Sharing is caring and if you can't trust your partner with your deepest, darkest desires then who can you trust? Try things together, explore, be open to enjoying new things. Not everything may be your cuppa Kama Sutra but you never know unless you try.
It's like food... you may look at it and think, "Oh hell no, I'm not putting that in my mouth," but once you open your mind and try it, you may discover you like it. And if you don't, that's OK too.
Sex isn't dirty: It's fantastic! Quiet those voices in your head that tell you watching porn is disgusting and wrong, or talking dirty is inappropriate, or using sex toys is only something sluts do. Read some erotica, masturbate before you get to the actual act of having sex (yes, I said masturbate, did you know that an orgasm a day extends your life span?), or fantasize about having your way with George Clooney or Angelina Jolie. Do what YOU need to do in order to keep taking your sex life to the next level.
Vanilla sex = B-O-R-I-N-G: